


What Needs To Be Done

by BloodyTuesday



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), Emotions, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I'm Going to Hell, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Minor Character Death, References to Depression, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-06-20 11:02:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyTuesday/pseuds/BloodyTuesday
Summary: The Paladins make it to Earth before the Galra manage to beat them there. Each Paladin visits their family and friends, feeling happiness as their arms wrap around each other. All except one. The one that wished for his family.Lance has depression. Everyone ignores him. 6 is too many and Lance doesn't know what to do. Until, he has a chance to make up for everything bad that he has done. It is What needs to be done, isn't it?





	1. The Weakest Link

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at an emotionally buggered fanfiction. I wrote this in like an hour (the first chapter) and I was trying not to cry in the library. So enjoy. (Unbetad, my grammar is horrible, ADHD and Dyslexia party)

Lance gripped the controls of the red lion tightly.

He could hear everyone talking through the coms about how amazing it was to see their loved ones again after finally making it back to Earth.

Normally the feeling of seeing his family would make Lance over the moon, especially considering how longs its been since he has seen any of them.

But all he can feel is an uncomfortable pressure in his chest that is just about to break out in a rush of tears, screams, and pain.

Hearing his friends talk about their family left Lance with a disgusting taste in his mouth, like someone had forced him to eat Coran’s experimental food goo.

An intense feeling of jealousy and rage slowly filled him up as he heard Pidge talk about seeing their brother and father again, the younger paladin making a joke about ‘almost never waiting to see him again’ when they mentioned another one of Sam’s stupid puns.

‘Never seeing him again, huh? Like spending all that time trying to find him meant nothing and all that bullshit we were put through to find him, they just turn around and say that?’ Lance though, slouching forward in his chair, feeling Red roar lightly in his mind.

_Concerned. Wonder. Sadness._

Red seemed to know Lance better than Blue ever did. Always knew when something was wrong with Lance, almost like how the previous pilot of the Red lion always made him fe-

“So, Lance, did you see your family? How did it go?” Lance’s thoughts were cut off by the same man that came into his thoughts.

“Uh, I got to the house but uh…no one was home so…” Lance said, trying to keep his real emotions out of his voice. He had gotten so much better at removing emotions from his works or putting fake ones into everything he says. Maybe he could be an actor after…

“But you took like, forever dude. What were you doing?” Asked Hunk, his face showing up on the screen in front of Lance.

“uhm. Well-. “Lance started, before Pidge jumped in.

“Probably walked into a really hot girl and had to flirt!” All the paladins laughed, even the newer Keith.

Sighing, Lance put on a fake smile and winked at the other paladins.  
“Obviously. That’s me. Flirty Lance. Lancy Lance. But hey guys, I may get some sleep, I didn’t exactly have time before, you know, with the flirting.” Lance chuckled, while the other paladins just all groaned but nodded and told him to get some rest.

Lance slowly removed his helmet and disconnected from the comms before walking over to a small corned of Red and curled up in a ball.

Almost as slowly as he moved, Lance let the tears fall slowly.

Flashbacks ran across his vision, not allowing him to ignore it while he was in the silence of his lion.

 

~~~~~

_Lance walked up the driveway of his old family home, seeing the familiar trees and grass and windows and doors. Everything seemed to be the same but there was a different air around the house._

_What was normally energetic and fun, had now turned into something cold and depressing._

  _Swallowing, Lance slowly walked up to the door and pulled out his old key, hoping that his mother hadn’t changed the locks since he went on his adventure._

_As Lance put the key into the lock, he heard the familiar click of the door and pushed it open, waiting to feel the warmth and smell the smell of his mums baking and the bickering of his siblings and-_

_Lance stopped. The lights were off. Everything was dead silent. No noises. No Bickering. No smells of fresh cooking. No music. There was nothing. Except for a light into the kitchen, that seemed to be struggling to light up the small area._

_Slowly, Lance walked crossed the living room and walked into the kitchen._

_It looked bare. Nothing on the counter. No funny notes on the fridge. Nothing._

_Turned around slightly, Lance gasped as his eyes laid on the things that confirmed his deepest, darkest thoughts._

_Right In front of him on the counter in the kitchen were pictures of all his family members, each having an individual candle laid out in front of the pictures. It looked like a shrine, with individual pieces of clothing or items that he knew his family held dear._

_Lance leant against the counter trying to control his breathing._

_Slowly, he reached out and grabbed a newspaper clipping that was sitting in front of the picture of his mother._

**_‘On xx-xx-xxxx, the McClain family was marked as another casualty of the war between the Earth and the ‘Galra.’ At approximately ten hundred hours, a strike from the Galra ship BETA hit the family while they were in their backyard, killing all of them. We apologise that this has occurred and hope that it does not deter anyone’s connection with the cause.’_ **

**_‘S_ ** _hort, Sweet, Just like the garrison.’ Lance thought bitterly, willing the tears in his eyes to stop trying to push out of his clenched eyes._

_Glancing to the door connected to the kitchen, Lance slowly opened it and gasped._

_A hole the size of a small Galra ship sat where the outside table use to sit. The table they used as a family every Christmas and Easter and Birthday._

_Lance could feel his whole body shake as his brain slowly realised what had happened._

_As Lance backed away from the door, Lance hit something solid._

_Thinking it was the counter or something, Lance turned. Only to realise it wasn’t the counter._

_Staring back at him with tears in her eyes, hair dishevelled, mascara running, clothes rumpled and creased – was Veronica._

_Lance gasped and turned his head towards the counter and he realised…Veronica’s photo wasn’t in the clump of individual family portraits or snap shots._

_“Ronnie, what...how...why?” Lance stuttered as he slowly wrapped around his crying sibling._

_“Lance…. Is that really you? Lance, oh my god Lance.” Vernonia cried, slowly becoming hysterical as she grabbed her brother and pulled him close to her._

_“Veronica, what happened?” Lance demanded, tears slowly creating a river down his cheeks._

_“The Galra…they, it was…I wasn’t home. I had a fight with mum. It was bad. I- I left and then they died.” Veronica collapsed in Lance’s arms._

_“Veronica, it wasn’t your fault!” Lance said, gathering his sister in his arms as they both cried together._

_“Yeah…It’s yours.” Veronica said, slowly staring Lance in the face._

_“wait, what” Lance stared dumbly at Veronica._

_“You. You’ve been in that bloody space lion all this time! You cared more about other people’s families than your own! You could have been here months ago and could’ve stopped this! You could have stopped the Galra from killing them! You could’ve- Does family not mean anything to you!?” Veronica screeched, pushing herself out of the position Lance had her in and she jumped to her feet._

_“Ronnie, I was protecting us! If I didn’t…. the Galra would’ve.” Lance started, shocked by the sudden change in his sister._

_“Well, they did anyway, didn’t they?”_

_Silence filled the house as Veronica stared at Lance like he had just killed their family himself._

_Lance went to step forward, only for Veronica to put her hand up._

_“Get out.” Lance stared at his sister in shock._

_“Ronnie, I”_

_“GET OUT! You are no longer a part of this family, you are your own family! You are not my brother. You are the weakest.” Veronica stated._

_“Ronnie-” Lance felt the pain of the punch before he saw it, even though he was staring right at his sister._

_Slowly raising his hand to his face, Lance stared at Veronica with a huge and openly shocked expression on his face._

_“Get. Out.”_

_With one last stare, Lance nodded and walked out of his – the McClain’s home._

 

_~~~_

Shivering, Lance curled into himself more.

‘It is my fault. If I hadn’t been stupid and joined Voltron, none of this would have happened. The Galra would’ve left them alone or I would’ve been there to help my family.’ Lance’s thoughts echoed in his head like a constant reminded of how stupid and pathetic he is.

Before he could leave his thoughts delve deeper, the Comms system started flashing, indicating that It was time to join the group.

Lance stood up and walked over to the controls, feeling Red’s worried whining in his head.

Lance just smiled and acknowledge the Lion, before picking up his discarded helmet and put it on.

“- and then he said” Pidge’s voice echoed in his head, before they trailed off as Lance must have appeared on the screen in front of the other paladins.

“Lance, glad you could join us.” Coran’s voice echoed.

“Now Paladins, we will do one last lap to make sure no Galra are coming to Earth and then we can land.” Allura stated, before Coran continued.

After being briefed on where each Paladin should go, the paladins got to work.

The silence was exactly what Lance needed, as he made sure to focus on the task at hand. He didn’t want anything else bad to happen because of his stupidity and his cowardice and his inability to protect his family.

‘No more people will die because of my bad decisions.’ Lance thought, feeling the emotional burn of Veronica’s slap on his face.

After about five hours of searching, the paladins all nodded and agreed that it was time to give the lions a rest.

As the lions landed, Lance slowly exited Red and saw the other paladins already in a weird hugging circle. Seeing none of them gesture towards him or even glance at him, Lance sighed and went into the clearing that surrounded them and went to work getting some fire wood. If the group didn’t want him, at least he could get some firewood for everyone to stay toasty if they decided to stay where they were and not take cover.

‘Maybe that’s just how it is now. Keith has his mum and a cool wolf. Shiro has Adam and Keith. Hunk has his mums. Pidge has their family. Allura has Romella and Coran. Maybe I’m just not meant for this.’ Sighing, Lance got to work on gathering as much firewood as he could carrying before heading back to the group. Only to see that there was already a pile of firewood sitting in front of everyone, already on fire.

Lance slowly trudged up to the group and dropped the firewood into a pile.

“Why did you get that? Krolia and Shiro already gathered a huge load?” Pidge asked, as the group stared at Lance.

“Well, I thought I’d help, I didn’t realise-” Lance started.

“Well, now we have too much wood. Wasn’t very smart. Why are you so distracted lately? Is it a girl~” Pidge continued, not realising what their words were doing to Lance?

‘Or maybe they are, and they want you to feel like this.’

Lance tried to control his thoughts and got a hold of his mental state as best as he could, before sending a smile to Pidge and winking. Pidge just rolled their eyes and went back to their conversation with Hunk.

Lance sighed, mentally preparing himself seemed to be a constant thing for him lately. Whenever anyone said anything to him, it was negative. Was he just a negative part of the team?

He watched as everyone seemed to be getting along. Even Krolia was discussing something with Romella while the later just smiled at the Galra. Keith was chuckling and hugging Shiro close, and Shiro was smiling the biggest smile. Pidge and Hunk were doing their usual things. Coran and Allura were smiling as they looked around at the area, taking in the feel of Earth. Keith’s wolf lifted it’s head and looked right at Lance, as if sensing his emotions. Staring into the wolf’s eyes, Lance couldn’t help but think.

What if…he **_was_** the weakest link?


	2. Are things looking up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wakes up for a new day, only to be hurt with a bit more heartache. WHy does this boy keep getting hurt?  
> (writing in two hours w/ beta...)

_“So, you still think you’re needed still? They’re going to realise that all you do is get people killed or injured. I mean, look at you. Pathetic. You’re the only paladin that is like…this.”_

_Lance stared at the fuzzy shape in front of him that was repeating the same words over and over again._

_The figure looked like Veronica but seemed to be merged with the other Paladins and Coran. Merging together into a hideous beast that was looming over Lance, telling him how pathetic he was and how much of a useless member of the team he was._

_Lance fell to his knees and started trying to create a bit of distance between himself and the figure. He crawled back until his back hit something, only to turn around and see that that something was a wooden box._

_As Lance stood up and tried to collect himself, the voices stopped and Veronica was standing next to Lance staring down at the wooden box._

_A coffin._

_Lance gasped as Veronica took a hold of the lid and ripped it off, revealing the bodies of their family. Mangled and beyond recognition. Staring up at him with accusing glares and shocked faces._

_Lance backed away again, only to see the family inside the coffin start to move._

_Slowly, the dead bodies joined Veronica and stared at Lance._

_They slowly pointed towards Lance in sync._

_“You didn’t save us. You can’t save anyone.”_

_“Why did I have a son like you.”_

_“You can’t do anything right.”_

_“It should have been you.”_

_The basically-zombies started walking slowly towards Lance. Lance turned and tried to run, only to realise that he wasn’t moving at all. But while he couldn’t move, the family behind him slowly started to move faster as they headed towards him._

_Closer and closer and closer._

_Feeling his mother’s hand on his shoulder felt like a claw or knife digging into his flesh and Lance felt a weirdly intense pain. Lance screamed trying to get away, but that only made the other family members start to claw into him as well, pushing him down to the group with a huge mass of bodies surrounding him. In sync, the bodies suddenly grabbed Lance by the arms and started to drag him back towards into the coffin. In seconds, he was shoved into the box with the rest of the family slowly climbing in._

_Dead faces and Dead bodies on top and beneath him._

_Trying to get free and failing, Lance looked up._

_Veronica loomed over him, holding the coffin lid in her hands._

_“It. Was. All. Your. Fault.”_

_Before all Lance could see was darkness._

_***************_

Lance almost jumped out of bed as soon as he awoke.

Frantically looking around his lion, Lance slowly started to count and remember things that happened before he went to sleep to calm himself.

The team had decided to go to sleep after eating. Krolia had come back from searching the area. Keith took Krolia, Shiro, and that damn space wolf that Lance doesn’t even know the name of into the Black lion. Pidge had decided to sleep in the Yellow lion with Hunk. Allura had gone into the Blue lion with Coran and Romelle to discuss tactics. And again, Lance was left alone. Alone to his thoughts. Alone to his heartache.

But that was his own fault, wasn’t it? None of the other paladins or members of the team knew that his family died because of him. He was certain that they would’ve helped him or sat with him to make sure that he was okay…right?

Lance decided that he needs to keep things normal and mentally prepared himself for the coming day, gathered up some of his clothes and headed for the lake that was just outside the clearing.

Luckily, the other team members were sitting around and seemed to be discussing tactics, so Lance could easily leave the area without them noticing. Lance was used to being invisible by this time. It was like him dying and Allura bringing him back turned him into a ghost, not that he was ever noticed anyway.

‘At least they’d care about me if I did die.’ Lance thought, slowly taking off his clothes and stepping into the lake to try to get some of the tension off his shoulders. ‘Then they could easily replace me with another Paladin without feeling guilty.’

Lance laid in the lake for what felt like hours.

‘Why do I even care. Of course, they’re going to replace me. I’m useless.’

Deciding that he had enough, Lance rolled over onto his stomach and screamed into the water as loud as he could. All the pain he felt, all of the hatred for himself that he had was all screamed into the water below him.

‘I better get back to the others.’

After quickly changing into new clothes and heading back to his lion, Lance paused.

None of the paladins or team members were in the area. The clearing was bare, bar the space wolf laying in the middle of the camping area.

Hearing Lance, the wolf jumped up and stared at him before walking up to Lance slowly, like the wolf was walking up to a scared animal.

Shaking his head, Lance stared at the animal.

“Did they leave you to look after the area instead of trying to find me and asking me to do it? What If they need Voltron? Am I that easy to forget? Couldn’t even bother to come find me, just give my job to a wolf?” Lance asked, as the wolf tilted its head to the side.

‘Right, it’s a wolf. It can’t respond to you, idiot.’

Lance turned around and walked back to his lion, feeling calm as he sat in the Red lions chair.

A weird purr entered his brain as Red tried to get him to open up, something that the lion only did when they knew that Lance was feeling a bit down. Normally Blue would help but she didn’t seem to be able to reach him.

‘I don’t know, Red.  My Mum and Abuela are dead. All but one of my sisters are dead. My brothers are dead. My sister hates my guts. No one in Voltron seems to want me around. I died and no one cares. I’m on Earth and I still hate myself and everything around me. Keith doesn’t even acknowledge me anymore. Shiro is done with me. Pidge and Hunk never speak to me anymore. I’m useless.’

Red could only purr sadly in response.

Giving up, Lance jumped out of the pilot chair and curled up in his corner again.

It felt like hours before there was a knock on the Red lion.

‘Time to appear normal’

************

After being briefed on what had occurred. Lance felt numb.

_“As you all know, another Galra attack occurred while someone was sleeping or hiding.” Allura said, eyeing Lance from the corner of her eye. “Luckily, we didn’t need Voltron. But next time, we must all be vigilant.”_

_“What happened?” Lance asked, feeling the group turn to stare at him._

_“This area” Shiro started, referring to a map that Allura had been holding. “was just attacked again. Apparently, they either have a huge vendetta against the place or it’s just an easy target. But we must all be ready for another attack, we can’t have any more distractions.”_

_Lance glanced at the table, only to try to school his expression before he broke down and looked like an idiot._

_The map. The area. His house. His last sister. He was on Earth and he still. couldn’t. save. His. last. living.  Family. Member.  What kind of a paladin was he?_

_“They’ll attack again. Be prepared.” Allura said, before storming off past Lance._

Lance felt his body shake. His head throbbed. His back screamed at him. Everything seemed to hurt but also seemed to be frozen at the same time.

‘Veronica. Veronica. Oh god, this is my fault. I should’ve-’ Lance’s inner thoughts screamed, while his expression appeared cool and relaxed while he walked back to his lion.

“Maybe next time, stay near the group.”

Lance turned around only to come face to face with Keith.

“Oh, finally decided to talk to me, hey Mullet?” The insult slipped out, causing Lance to internally scream at himself for being an idiot. It’s not like he really hated Keith. He really didn’t. He may have felt something more for the weirdly amusing man. But that’s what Keith was now. A man. A grizzled man with cool mullet hair and nice smile and a tight butt-

“You getting any sleep? You look tired. Not that I care but for the missions.”

Lance snapped out of his inner conflict, seeing the concerned look on the mullet haired man’s face.

“I’m fine. Just tired, you know.” Lance said, sending Keith a small smirk, trying to appear normal.

“You know I’m here if you need anything, right? I can see somethings up, you aren’t your normal self.”

Lance stared at Keith with a wide expression. Lance tried to control himself before replying.

“You sure you’re really Keith?”

Lance just received a shrug in return as Keith rolled his eyes and walked away.

Lance slowly walked up the ramp of Red and waited until he was shielded from the eyes of others and let his calm mask slip.

‘Who did Keith think he was? Why couldn’t things go back to before? You don’t deserve anyone to care about you. Keith probably only did it because of Shiro or something. He doesn’t care about you. He left you for the Blade and he doesn’t need you. He doesn’t really care. He’s all grizzled now.’ Lance’s thoughts attacked him as he curled himself up into a ball and tried to control himself.

Lance must’ve stayed in that position for a while, as he started to slowly fall asleep.

***

_Lance sat down at a table. His family sat around him all smiling and laughing like they normally would be like._

_Lance chuckled when his mum scolded one of his siblings for eating the food too early, only to have the family pause and slowly turn towards Lance._

_Lance felt his chuckle die as his family slowly started to turn into ash._

_Lance jumped out of his seat, staring in horror at his family or what was left of them._

_“I had them cremated, you know.” Veronica’s voice echoed in Lance’s head._

_But no matter where he looked, Lance couldn’t see his sibling._

_“I’m dead too. You ever expect to see a dead person?” Veronica’s teasing voice echoed through the area._

_“Veronica, I’m so-” Before Lance could finish, he felt like his throat was being torn apart, ripped to shreds. Gasping, he dropped to the group and stared at the dusty floor, trying to breath but failing. After what felt like forever, his throat slowly started to stop aching. But Veronica continued._

_“You were on Earth and you couldn’t even save me.”_

_“But I couldn’t have known! You kicked me out! What-”_

_“Yeah, blame the dead person. Totally my fault that my superhero brother couldn’t save me when he is on the same planet as me.”_

_Lance slumped to the ground._

_“Oh look how pathetic you are. Brother Lance. Lancey Lance. Look at you.”_

_The floor below Lance changed and revealed a mirror. Lance gasped as his reflection looked back at him._

_This couldn’t be him._

_The boy in the mirror was pale. He had blood shot eyes from crying. He looked nothing like how Lance thought he looked._

_Veronica appeared behind Lance and peered over his shoulder with a wicked smirk._

_“Maybe you should join us for dinner, since you already spoiled life.” Before Lance could reply, his mirror self suddenly reached out and started to drag Lance into the mirror floor._

_Lance screamed, trying to get his mirror-self off him as he heard his sisters’ laughter in his ear._

_“Goodbye Lan-“_

_***************_

“ce! LANCE WAKE UP IT’S A DREAM!”

Lance shot up from his position, only to come face to face with a scared looking Keith.

Lance stared franticly around the room but relaxed when he realised that it was only Keith and his space wolf in Red.

“You okay? Sorry I busted into Red but Blue came to me and showed me to the Red lion for food or something but then I heard you scream. Red let me in, Lance but enough chit chat from me, Lance why are you screaming?”

Lance stared at Keith with a blank expression at the amount of words coming out of the mans lips, before gazing at the wolf and the inside of Red.

“You…named your wolf…Blue?”

“What? Yeah, why not? Anyway, are you okay?” Keith asked, staring at Lance.

“Yeah, just a nightmare.” Lance whispered, looking away from Keith.

Lance jumped when he felt Keith’s hand on his cheek, stroking his face.

Lance started to blush, only to realise that Keith was wiping the tears off his face.

‘Well, great. Now I look like a huge cry baby in front Keith. Good job, idiot.’

“Lance…I am here if you want to talk. I’m not that good at it but I can help.” Keith’s voice came out as a whisper, like he thought Lance would scream at him just for the suggestion. Well, he probably would’ve, if he didn’t feel so tired.

Silence filled the Red lion, as Keith and Blue stared at Lance.

“You’re actually serious? You called your wolf Blue?”

A blush slowly covered Keith’s face as he looked between Lance and Blue.

“That’s what you focus on and keep asking about? Um, yeah. Why not? It’s a good name and he’s blue…”

Lance slowly started to smile, feeling his face hurt a bit from not doing it in a while.

Keith just stared at Lance’s face as it slowly became covered with a huge smile.

“Mullet, how sentimental of you.”

Keith just chuckled and jabbed his fist into Lance’s shoulder earning a chuckle from the later.

Keith sat down beside Lance and stared at the paladin. Silence reigned until Keith spoke again.

“I’ll sit here till you sleep. Nightmares aren’t the best thing to go through alone, you know?”

Lance just stared at Keith before nodding and curling up into a ball – only to have Keith shift around him and pull the boy into him.

‘Who knew Keith could cuddle.’ Lance thought, before sleep slowly took him.

‘Maybe…. things will get better.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Follow me on tumblr if you want to - http://you-resuchagorgeousnightmare.tumblr.com/)


	3. The One Where Lance Explodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit more Langst....Hopefully it works well? - Unbeta'd

Lance woke up with a start.

Glancing around himself, he took in the calmness inside Red.

Remembering his conversation with Keith, Lance happily jumped out of bed and wandered around Red. Humming to himself and smiling as he slowly started to sing to the song that was playing in his head, Lance picked out some clothing from within Red and giggled as he thought about Kei- ugh, about what was happening today. Finally picking out the clothes that he wanted to wear and finally feeling a bit more calmer, Lance slowly exited Red and noticed the calming atmosphere that surrounding the area that they had decided to ‘park’ in. Lance smiled as he noticed Blue playing around with some birds and trying to fly with them.

Lance watched as birds flew above him and listened to the sound of them as they swooped down and continued to play around with Blue while Keith watched the wolf play with a smile.

‘Keith…‘ Lance smiled as he watched the other man enjoy the company of the weird space wolf. ‘I wonder if Keith has ever owned a dog before…?’

Keith seemed to notice Lance and smiled slightly as he raised a hand and waved at Lance. Lance would’ve been okay with waving back if the other members around the fire pit didn’t look up and glance towards him as he smiled slightly at the older man.

Seeing them look back, Lance squared his shoulders and nodded before he walked slowly away from Red and into the forest with his clothing, mind focused on getting clean and ready for the day ahead.

Lance shivered as he walked deeper into the forest.

‘Why is it so cold?’

Lance sighed as he slowly came up to the lake and slowly removed his clothes.

Staring down at himself Lance took in the scars that marked his body. Normally he’d try to ignore them, but today he couldn’t stop staring at the scars that stood out against his tan skin. He knew he had a huge one on his back from where he was nearly killed the first time but seeing them on his front made Lance realise how close to death he had been. And it made him realise that he wished that he was dead.

‘One wrong hit….and I could’ve died…I could’ve been with my family…’

Lance shook himself out of his depressing thoughts and let himself slowly walk into the lake. Feeling the water rush around his body as he slowly submerged himself Lance let his mind wander as he let himself sink to the bottom of the lake.

‘I felt so much better before Voltron….no, before Keith left. Why does he always do this to my moods? Why do I feel this way about….’

Suddenly, Lance allowed his eyes to snap open as he pushed himself out of the lake.

‘I like…like-like Keith!?’

Lance knew that he had a certain thing for Keith but he had assumed that it was just a need to have a rivalry with the other man. But if he had developed a crush on Keith…what was he going to do?

‘Maybe I could use that as another reason to leave Voltron…I don’t want to have feelings for a fellow paladin or blade member, it could hurt a mission….’

Lance sighed as he continued to float on top of the water and tried to ease his worries.

“Are you going to stay In there all day? Or are you going to come join us?”

Lance spluttered as he heard the voice call out from behind him. Splashing around and trying to find his footing, Lance glanced towards the shore and saw Keith.

Keith had his hands crossed over his chest and smirked at the man in the water.

Feeling his face flush, Lance couldn’t help but stutter as he made his way over to the other man.

“I just feel better…in the water…?”

“Sure, Lance.”

Silence rang over the two men as Lance waited for the other man to turn around so he could exit the lake.

“So, are you going to come out?”

Lance blushed as he stared at the other man.

“Umm…I would but I’m…you know.” Lance whispered – only loud enough for Keith to hear – as he gestured towards the water.

Keith raised an eyebrow and stared at the other man before his eyes trailed down slightly and realisation flashed across his face. Lance stared wide eyed as the other mans face started to slowly develop a pink tinge.

‘Keith is…blushing?’

“Like what you see, Mullet?” Lance smirked as he raised his arms above his head and smirked at the other man.

“Yeah, I do. I think that’s pretty obvious.”

Lance’s eyes went wide at the other man.

“….You can’t…are you….you….”

Seeing the smirk on the other mans face as he stuttered, Lance stared Keith right in the eyes as he slowly brought himself out of the water.

The water cascaded own his chest and stomach as he slowly let it rise just below his hip bones. As the water slowly started to reveal the area below his hips, Lance watched as Keith swallowed and lick his lips.

“One last warning, Mullet.”

Lance and Keith locked eyes as Lance raised an eyebrow.

Seeing Keith not make a move to leave the area, Lance shrugged with a smirk and slowly removed himself from the water more.

Before he could let the water reveal what was below his waist, a call rang out.

“Keith! Lance! Where are you?”   
Lance and Keith tensed as they heard Shiro call out for them.

Looking at each other, Keith smiled slightly at Lance.

“It’s okay. Get changed and ill cover for you. But be quick.”

Lance watched as the other man turned around and walked back to the camp site.

Smiling to himself, Lance removed himself from the water and started to dry himself and get changed.

‘Maybe Keith does like me that way too….?’

Lance smiled to himself the whole way to the camp site, only for it to fall off his face as he took in the annoyed expressions on the other paladins faces.

“Took you long enough! Did you forget? Today we’re meant to be talking to the Garrison about putting in place proper protocols for protecting Earth from the Galra today! Did you forget?”

“You didn’t tell me about that, though…?” Lance started, only to be cut off by an annoyed Allura.

“Lance, we mentioned it last night at dinner!”

Lance stared at Allura and the other paladins.

“I wasn’t at dinner.”

The other paladins stared at Lance confused, almost as if they didn’t even realise.

“I guess you guys were too busy to notice. Whatever, I’ll stay here and look after the area. Good luck at the Garrison.”

“But Keith is staying back…?”

“You don’t need me.”

Lance turned around and stalked towards the Red lion and smiled slightly as he heard the familiar murmuring.

‘Guess I’m pretty easy to ignore….’

Lance watched as the other paladins turned and walked towards their lions before they all flew off towards the Garrison.

Lance sighed as he noticed some of the others had stayed behind. His eyes landed on Keith, as the other man seemed to be staring towards the Red lion with a weird expression on his face that only fell away when his mother placed her hand on his shoulder.

Lance watched with a small smile as Keith smiled at his mother.

‘He deserves this…’

Lance slowly curled up in the middle of his lion, finally allowing himself to relax.

‘I just hope…I don’t fall asleep.’

 

`````````

Lance jumped up from his nap as he glanced around the room tiredly.

‘Why did I…?’ Lance thought, before he heard a flurry of harsh knocks.

Jumping up and quickly changing into better clothes, Lance exited Red, only to walk face first into the other Paladins. All of them wore annoyed expressions while Keith and the others stared at him from the long since cold fire pit.

“Hey, guys…?” Lance started before getting cut off by Shiro.

“Lance! We’ve been knocking for ages. If the Galra were attacking”

“We need to all be alert! We don’t know when the Galra are attacking next!” Allura’s voice joined in, as the paladins stared at Lance.

“But I’m already in my lion? I can easil-“

“It doesn’t matter, Lance! You need to be aware at all times!“

Lance shuffled his feet as he listened to Allura scold him. The other Paladins just stared at him and didn’t interrupt the Princess as she berated Lance.

‘I get that…but…’

“And you aren’t even listening to me, are you!? Why do you always do this, Lance!?”

Lance glanced towards Hunk, hoping that his friend and fellow Paladin would at least stand up for him - only to see the other man shaking his head at him.

‘Even…Hunk?’

“You have no reason for being so…so….-” Before Allura could finish, an explosion echoed through the sky and everyone looked up.

In the sky was a Galra warship, it’s weapons slowly heating up and getting ready to shoot down on Earth.

Everyone tensed before Allura called for all the Paladins to get into their lions.

Turning around, Lance slowly walked into Red and breathed in before he jumped into the seat of the lion.

‘I really…don’t need my suit…I can handle this without my suit…right?’

Lance sighed as he heard the echo of the Red lion in his head.

**_Worry. Concern. Admiration._ **

Smiling slightly, Lance sighed as he pulled on his helmet and listened to the other Paladins before they launched into the air and prepared to fight the Galra ship.

Lance shot around the Galra ship, trying to find the perfect place to attack while everyone else aimed and shot at the ship.

“Lance! If you aren’t going to help us, what are you doing!?” Pidge shouted, her voice echoing through the communication system.

“I’m trying to find the perfect place to attack! We can’t keep blindl-” Lance was cut off as Shiro spoke through the channel.

“Lance! Stop using excuses and do something productive! We have to attack as much as we can!”

Lance tensed as he heard the last word fall from Shiro’s lips. Echoes of his sister calling him weak shot through his head – sending a negative feeling through the communication channels.

“Geez, Lance. Don’t be so dramatic!” Pidge shouted as she shot at the Galra ship, finally causing it to explode.

“Good job, Everyone.” There was a shot through the Voltron connection, one that seemed to imply a feeling of excluding someone from the ‘everyone’. 

‘That felt…too easy.’

Lance grumbled as he turned Red around, only to stare at the site in front of him.  

Right behind the other paladins was another Galra ship – It seemed to be watching the fight.

“Guys! Listen-”

“Stop Lance! This is important! We need to make a plan on what to do if more show up! We don’t have time for your crap!” Pidge exclaimed, causing the other paladins to voice their agreement.

Feeling anger course through him, Lance felt himself snap.

“Right, yeah, THIS is important, not anything else.”

“Oh my god Lance, stop being so dramatic! We’re on Earth, We need to focus! Our families are here, we need to-”

“At least you have a family that’s alive!” Silence ran through the communications.

“…Lance..?” Hunk’s voice echoed through the communications system.

“Oh, finally you care.”

“Lance…of course we care.” Allura’s voice echoed through the system.

“No, you don’t. You never did. You didn’t even know that my family was dead. None of you bothered. Did you know that my sister survived? Did you know that she thinks it’s my fault that they died? She says I should’ve bene here and not with Voltron. I should have been here. I could have saved them. I’m the weakest one in Voltron and Voltron doesn’t need a weakest link. Did you know that Keith was the only one who cared or noticed? I don’t even understand why I’m still here! You don’t want me here, you don’t need me here, What’s the point!?”

Before he could hear the replies, Lance turned off the communication system, threw his helmet off, and watched the ship behind the other paladins come closer.

A beam of light slowly appeared as the ship aimed one of the guns towards the paladins. Before Lance could react, he watched as the ship changed course and aimed right at Earth – right at where Keith would be.

Feeling his eyes widen, Lance knew what he had to do.

Lance breathed in, said goodbye to Red and wished her luck with her next paladin, and flew himself into the path of the light before it could hit where Keith was. Before landing in front of the beam, Lance shot at the ship as much as he could and he saw the other paladins try to get closer to him but before they could, he slammed Red into the ship causing it to explode – causing Red to shoot backwards and start twirling towards the ground.

Lance gasped as he felt the explosion hit Red and his head fell forward as he slowly started to lose consciousness.

 

 

```````````````

Feeling himself slowly start to wake up, Lance gasped as he felt something warm and sticky on the side of his face. Slowly sitting up in Red’s chair, Lance slowly opened his eyes – only to realise that he wasn’t floating in space but surrounded by what seemed like a forest on Earth.

‘Where did I land…What’s…?’ Glancing around the cock-pit, Lance took in the sight at Red. Some of the electronics on the inside of the ship were thrown around, cords hung out of certain parts within Red. Glancing down, Lance gasped as he took a look at his hands.

His normal tan skin was littered with red marks.

‘I got…burnt?’

Slowly placing a finger against the red patch, Lance gasped in pain and brought his hand back.

Looking down at his body further, Lance’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of his suit less body.

Long tan legs were covered in bruises, cuts, and slight burns. His clothing was ripped and torn.

‘How did I…survive?’

Lance sighed slightly as he took in the area around him. Luckily, it seemed that he had crashed in an area that had few animals – so far. Looking around the cockpit again Lance’s eyes fell on the helmet on the floor.

Falling from his seat, Lance gasped as he hit the ground, but he reached a hand forward and slowly put on the helmet and turned on the coms.

Before he could ask for help, Lance heard the other paladins.

“He’s just so stupid! Oh my god!” _Pidge_

“He always hurts himself when we’re on a mission! Why does he do this!” _Allura_

“We can’t form Voltron now!” _Shiro._

“Guys, we can- Wait, Lance, Is that you!?”

Hearing a gasp from the other Paladins and hearing them slowly call for him, Lance let out a chuckle.

“It’s not like you care. I’m just stupid. I hurt the mission. You should find someone else to form Voltron. Oh, wait right, I’m still in Red so that’s at least one reason to bother with finding me, right. Don’t worry, Red should be able to help you find her.”

Before the other Paladins could respond, Lance took the helmet off again and curled up into himself. Slowly, he started to feel the effects of the explosion. His hole body ached, every muscle tightened and throbbed as he tried to calm down his breathing.

‘I guess you’re the only one here for me, Hey Red.’

Lance tried to listen to the tell-tale sign of Red’s voice in his head, only to be met with nothing.

‘Red? Buddy?’

Lance felt himself grow colder as he realised the lion wasn’t responding to him.

‘Did I do something wrong?’

Looking around the cockpit, Lance took in the ruined electronics and cords.

Pulling himself up, Lance nodded to himself and got to work.

‘I may not be as smart as Pidge or Hunk, but I learnt a few things….at least, I hope I did.’

Lance walked over to a box inside Red and pulled out some tools.

‘It won’t be too difficult to fix…right?’


End file.
